So, you had an awesome Tantra session—either as a couple, or on your own. You felt the magic, and for a brief moment everything around you was part of your body. There was no separation, no thoughts about it versus you…only one feeling, and one desire…
…So, now you want to try to get there again at home. Well, practicing Tantra at home can be tricky because your Tantra teacher isn’t there to guide you. But if you truly want to recreate the magic that you experienced in your Tantra session, the first thing is you must shift your focus from a release-oriented (purely physical) to a orgasm-oriented (physical and emotional) perspective.
Be a “Sensation Collector”
Release and orgasm are very different bodily functions (that sometime happen together). Your orgasm is essentially an accumulation of sensation whereas your release is really just your body getting rid of something (your ejaculation). One collects and one expels. That’s right. So, focus on your orgasm, your sensation collector, and gather as much sensation as possible. You do this by suppressing your release. How? Well, you would have learned to do this in your Tantra session, so think back to your experience and implement the techniques of relaxation, your arousal scale, and focusing on what you’re feeling in the moment in your body.
Your body can keep accumulating sensation to no end. The slower you go through your process of arousal, the more sensation you will gather…and the more the better!
Here are a few pointers for creating a practice at home.
- First things first: Create a comfortable, quiet space to practice in. A place that is NOT YOUR BED. Let’s call this space your, “love nest.” In your love nest you may have comfortable pillows, blankets, nice and soft music, natural scents (nothing artificial). Use your love nest to feed your senses and create a comfortable foundation for exploration.
- Bring your awareness INTO your body: If you’re a man, this means you’ll need to focus on the area just behind your penis. If you’re a lady, then focus on the area jut behind your clit—in each person this is the front-lower pelvis area, behind the front of your genitals.
- Breathe Into Your Belly: As you inhale your belly should expand, as you exhale your belly relaxes back to your spine—like you’re blowing up a balloon inside your belly with each inhale. This kind of body breath, creates sensation and blood flow in the lower part of your body (where you need it most).
- Butterfly Effect Breathing: Imagine that there’s a butterfly in the area of your pelvis flapping its wings just behind your genitals. With each inhale the wings spread open wide, and with each exhale they relax back together. Inhale and exhale into this area, sitting comfortably with your lover for a few minutes. This will help bring your awarenesses into your bodies.
- Get into the “giver” and “receiver” mindset: This is important because allowing your body, and your partner’s body to relax and open up to pleasure, from the inside out, can only happen when you are completely relaxed. Use your hands only to stimulate your lover, and as one person receives completely, the other gives, allowing the receiver to focus only on what they feel and expanding and opening up to pleasure. As you receive, practice relaxing your body (especially your pelvic floor, anus, and PC muscle), practice breathing into your belly. As you give, focus on the way your lover’s body feels to your touch, not the way he or she looks with your eyes.