Secret Tantra

Secret Tantra

I’m all for full-disclosure, which is why Couple’s Tantra sessions are so amazing.  But, sometimes we need to have an experience that is all our own, and sensuality and sex are both very personal experiences even though to feel fulfilled we need another body to experience them with—quite the catch 22.  So, how do you enjoy Tantra techniques at home during sex without having to share how you learned them?

THE SCENE:  You had a sensual Tantra session with an awesome provider, and you experienced sensations you never knew existed inside of you.  Now, all you want is to mimic those sensations at home and learn more about them.  However you don’t feel comfortable sharing where you learned them…but you still want to secretly practice.  In this case there are some things you can do to enhance sensation at home during love making without divulging your secret sensual experience.

Your Breath:  First and foremost, mind your breathing style.  Remember your session and how your provider helped you expand your breathing pattern and the depth of your breath?  That’s something you don’t want to lose site of at home during love-making, because it is the essence of how free (or not) sensation can run through your body.  Breathe deeply and with awareness every once in a while to expand sensation to those illuminating heights you experienced during your session.  Breathing deeply is easy to do without sharing why you’re doing it.

Your Arousal Scale:  During your session, you probably used a number scale to communicate your level of arousal (1 = least aroused, and 10 = climax).  The number scale is used so that you can firstly, move more slowly through the process of arousal; and secondly, to help you dance on the edge of the place arousal meets climax.  So, never ever go to an 8 or 9 when you first get excited with your lover at home.  Move to about a six and then relax your body.  When you’re relaxing after moving up your scale a bit you can still stay connected during sex, kiss, enjoy your lover’s body; just don’t thrust or create big movement.  You can also take the time to experience your own body from the inside out.  What does that area feel like deep in your pelvis, behind your genitals?  Does it feel tingly, or can you feel your orgasm as it begins to calm and relax?  Use your break time to reconnect with your pleasure on the inside of your body (if even for a few secret seconds), relax your pelvis, breathe deeply into that area, and the magic can begin!

Contraction & Relaxation:  Pumping your PC muscle can be like pushing a magic button!  Squeeze your PC muscle and pelvic floor areas, then deeply relax them, several times both while sexually engaged, or during your break time between numbers.  You can match your inhale with the contraction and your exhale with the relaxation (but you don’t have to if you feel this would be too obvious to your lover).  Doing this little action will begin to create the waves of pleasure that you felt during your sensual Tantra session.  When pumping, be sure you don’t overdo it, and make sure that you are relaxing after contracting (relaxation is far more important than contraction in that area).

I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you have any questions, you can always contact me directly:  b@bella-joy.com