It’s been one of those months… the kind where I wish I had a magic elf around to help with all the little things that need to be done. Nevertheless, and without my magical friends to help me, I’ve almost settled in. Thanks to everyone for your support in the process of my transition!
Anyhow, I’ve learned a little bit about myself this month and I guess I feel the need to share it.
Day after Love filled day I hear a similar story: “My wife and I used to have a great sex life and now she’s cold as ice.” She had children then stopped having sex, or the girlfriend just isn’t interested, or she claims to have no sex drive… This running theme has been an ongoing subtext throughout my career. Obviously my services are great (not to toot my own horn!), but they’re no substitute for an actual sexually intimate relationship with a loving partner. My goal for any of my students is to help them cultivate a more loving relationship at home (if that’s their desire). Having a passionate love life at home only makes an experience with me more fulfilling!
I had a conversation with someone recently who happens to have a great relationship with his wife at home. Our meetings are so much fun, explorative and positive—every time. The NEED to experience something intimate as a replacement for something missing at home is removed, and what’s left is a sense of lightness and enthusiasm for the experience. Also, our time together is spent gathering energy for him to take home and share with his partner. He claims it’s like magic! I guess that would make me his magic elf.
Now, I certainly don’t knock the need to experience intimacy, and I love that I can connect with people in such a way and/or help them to connect with themselves in such a way (through Tantra, Tantric techniques, and sensual education), that this need can be satiated… at least for a little while. But, the need will of course return. This desire for intimacy is what I call a renewable source of sensual energy.
I’ve been experimenting with the idea of sexual/sensual energy renewing itself for a while now. With so many wonderful people to share my time with and so much sensual energy running through me, I decided to put my theories about this subject to good use. I’ve discovered that if approached and practiced in the right way, sensual energy is absolutely renewable, intimacy is renewable, and to get right to the source, LOVE is 100% renewable. Aspects of Tantra, and other simple techniques are tools we can use in our relationships to constantly renew what already exists. Those things that we’ve already done, and the intimate foundations that already exist in our relationships are the most powerful cornerstones for nurturing any long-term relationship. If you’re interested in learning any of these techniques, you know where to find me
I hear women talk about how men need to experience newness constantly, and I’m sorry but that’s simply not true. I should know. I have students I’ve been seeing for years, the same old format, over and over again—and every time is passionate and intensely connected.
The cool thing about newness is that the excitement (energy) it generates is dynamic and authentic. No one is trying to make it interesting because in its natural state of being new it is already interesting. An experience doesn’t need to be new to be interesting, that’s a lot of pressure. However, a shared experience between two lovers (old or new) needs to have that shared element of passion, connection and the authentic nature of discovery that allows the experience to be fun, again and again. Once more, the techniques become powerful players in helping us make sexual cornerstones in our relationship that already exist connected and authentic.
There’s high sensual value in a long-term relationship, we simply get so stuck on newness that we can’t see it… let alone discover it. Next time you’re with your partner try employing some simple breathing techniques or eye gazing to connect with her/him. Don’t allow the precious opportunity of authentic connection to slip away from you simply because you think you've already "been there, done that". Because once the energy leaves, you have to work even harder to get it back.